HEARTACHES, HEART BREAKS, and unfortunate timing seem to be love’s theme for many. There’s no roadmap, no guide in finding someone you love, such that sometimes, despite all the feeling and the knowing that it’s her, it turns out that it wasn’t.
So, how do they do it? How were they able to find their love, their partner, their soulmate, their destiny? Bedans, let us indulge in our dear professors’ stories of love, fate, and happiness.
Para & Pana: Atty. Ruiza Tolentino & Atty. Renier Razon, Department of Legal Management
“We’ve known each other for 4,676 days,” shared Atty. Renier, who first met Atty. Ruiza on her birthday in 2011, both serving as student-leaders in the Junior Bedan Law Circle (JBLC). “And ever since, biro ko sa kaniya, baka gift ako ni God sa kaniya,” joked Atty. Renier.
Recalling their initial meeting, “feeling ko siya nag-first move sa’kin,” teased Atty. Renier as they shared the story of how Atty. Ruiza messaged him on his birthday exactly 11 days after their first encounter.
The couple revealed that, unbeknownst to them, their peers noticed their closeness before they realized their budding romance. “My friends asked me, ‘Uy, parang lagi kayong magkasama ha!’ ‘Yon ‘yung hindi ko napapasin,” said Atty. Ruiza. “Lagi kami magkasama pero ‘di namin alam binibigyan na pala ng meaning ng mga tao,” Atty. Renier continued.
“Crush ko siya,” Atty. Renier admitted, describing his partner as a leader, strong-willed, and independent, which captivated him. “Definition siya ng conya, maarte magsalita, naka-messy bun, cute, ‘tsaka mabango.”
On the other hand, Atty. Ruiza was drawn to her partner’s friendliness. “Ang bait niya sa lahat. He makes sure you’re comfortable, his humor, and from being with him, the sense of comfortability when you’re with him you feel secured, and isa pa, most important ‘yung patience niya.”
These qualities, according to them, “complement” each other, and amid challenges, “always at the end of the day whatever the difficulty we experience, encounter it’s always a choice, and we always choose each other,” said Atty. Ruiza, reflecting on their 13-year strong relationship.
Atty. Ruiza also admitted that in their initial years, she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, feeling the pressure of being the youngest child. “After n’on, hindi na ‘ko nagtanong,” continued Atty. Renier. Atty. Ruiza added that after that first question, their relationship became somewhat of a no-label relationship. The former Legal Management department chairperson asked when the two finally became official.
Speaking more about the challenges of their relationship, Atty. Ruiza shared that Atty. Renier’s approachability and friendliness became an issue in their young relationship. “Parang I wasn’t special for him, since parang ganon naman siya sa lahat, so ano ko?” she pondered then.
“Paranoid siya, so ako naman sabi ko, ‘papanagutan kita’,” said Atty. Renier in sharing the story of how they came to be “Para and Pana.” “All my paranoid thoughts, pinapanagutan niya,” Atty. Ruiza added.
Describing their love for each other, Atty. Renier calls her “home.” Moreover, in managing their time for each other, both shared that they always make time for one another, make plans together, and treat each other’s success as their own.
Finding common interests, discovering things together, and open communication are their advice to people in finding, being, and staying in love, allowing each other to grow while maintaining time with each other simultaneously.
“Be proud of each other,” they implored others, telling couples to be the devil’s advocate for each other while still being the biggest supporter of one another. Moreover, while emphasizing that better communication is key, Atty. Renier expressed the significance of saying the right words, stating: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”
And for Bedans out there still longing to find their special someone, the couple advised them to “live, laugh, and love,” as “there’s always a perfect time for everything; if it is not for now, it will happen in God’s perfect time.”
A Love that Grows Stronger With Time: Prof. Zernan de Ramos, Department of Business Management and Entrepreneurship
In a flash, from 21 years ago to being happily married for 14 years and counting, Prof. Zernan de Ramos recounts his story with Mrs. Kirby de Ramos.
“Nakilala ko siya noong 2003… sa government office, sa Department of Science and Technology (DOST),” said Prof. Zernan, reminiscing that “it was love at first sight.”
“Kasi ano talaga, hindi sa pagyayabang [pero] may looks siya,” he added, recounting the initial moments of their relationship when he was still making “ligaw,” taking in the form of small wholesome gestures while expressing his interest. “Dadala ako ng breakfast, origami – ta’s nandun may letter.”
“N’ung nakilala ko na responsible siya… hindi naman siya breadwinner, pero napansin ko ‘pag may concern ‘yung kapatid niya, siya ‘yung tinatawagan e, so nakaka-turn on siya, gan’un, nakakatuwa siya,” added Prof. Zernan as he listed his spouse’s qualities which plucked his heartstrings to the songs of cupid. Four years thereafter, they eventually became an official couple—and in 2010, they professed eternal love in holy matrimony.
At present, Prof. Zernan and Mrs. Kirby have manifested this love into a happy family, sharing it with their two beautiful children: Zaiden and Zoe.
“Siyempre masaya, kasi araw-araw mo siya makakasama” he recalled, adding that while in comparison before, “for three years, officemates kami still within DOST, nagpalipat kasi ako sa ibang department…then [eventually] ibang company na ako, na-miss ko ‘yung araw-araw mong makikita [siya]…then n’ung kinasal na, ayun, nandoon ‘yung natutuwa ka na hindi ka magsasawa araw-araw mong nakikita.”
Like any other, the de Ramos’ relationship encountered its fair share of challenges too. Yet, throughout their journey, they discovered invaluable lessons that fortified the foundation of their bond. Prof. Zernan reflected on the pillars that upheld their love: firstly, communication. “’Pag may talagang pag-uusapan, ‘wag maghihiya ilahad… kasi talaga kayo yung magkakasama, at kayo yung magkakampihan talaga in the end.”
Embracing each other’s strengths and weaknesses emerged as another component. Prof. Zernan emphasized that, “kung ano ‘yung mga weaknesses mo, alamin mo yung isa’t isa… kung dito ka mahina, allow her na siya ‘yung tutulong d’un… that’s the give and take.”
Expressing affection also became a priority as Prof. Zernan shared, “hindi pwede… na ‘pag may free time, ‘saka mo lang… ‘di dapat… magse-set talaga ng time. Ngayon, dahil may anak na kami, I make sure na kahit pa minsan-minsan kami lang dalawa… ‘pag nasa school ang anak namin dalawa, pupunta kami sa isang—kahit pangit—na coffee shop, talaga kayong dalawa ay iisa na. May time ka na dapat ibibigay.”
Lastly, he is steadfastly committed to openness as he shares, “Walang taguan ng secrets, dapat talaga iisa lang talaga kayo.”
Concluding his story, Prof. Zernan left a few parting words to inspire those from the Bedan community in search of love: “‘Wag matatakot na magmahal” he says; and for Mrs. Kirby, the woman who has held his heart for the past 21 years and into eternity, he imparts, “Kaya natin ‘to, mahirap man; may pinagdadaanan tayo… pasensya na minsan may pagkukulang ako… I love you.”
Beyond the brilliance and wisdom of our charming professors, their intimate narratives reassure us that even the sharpest minds can joyfully embrace the allure of romance. So, as we bid adieu to these cherished love stories, let us remember the timeless adage, “Love knows no bounds.” Indeed, life’s most profound and soul-stirring lessons are often expressed in the language of the heart.
(with Nathaniel Soriano)