DEAR READER, I can promise to be candid. However, I cannot be impartial. For better or for worse this candidness of mine has gotten me to where I am now, but I have this lingering frustration that I have not fulfilled anything that I’ve sought to as I reflect on this last piece I am going to write for you. 

This frustration comes after what I can assess is a very successful first semester, the quantity and quality of our outputs and coverages in the sports section has declined significantly. I can point to a few things that can being complicit in this decline such as the lack of funds to support our coverage expenses because said funds are diverted elsewhere. Another factor would be the schedules and availability of everyone from the editors down to the staffers which severely affected our effective manpower as we can only rely on the same set people who have a lighter academic load.  

“this space might not be enough to say all that I have to.”

But I cannot accept that reasoning, as those are just excuses. Thus, I cannot absolve myself from these mistakes as these obstacles are mine to overcome. It falls to me to figure out and circumvent these situations as I was the one entrusted this responsibility and I have failed to do such. 

So where am I getting at dear reader? Usually at this part of the column I’d have an answer lying in wait for you but I’m afraid I’ve ran out of those. Back then, I had this delusion of grandeur as I believed that I was entrusted with this responsibility as no one else could and no one else really could. I believed that with my experience, planning as well as effective management I can achieve all goals that I’ve set for myself. 

 Those goals were achieved in just three months, but that delusion also detached me from the realities that were right in front of me. Due to my obsession with my work the people I love suffered the most due to my absence at home. This was exacerbated by my academic responsibilities as I wanted to make sure I have taken all my regular units as well as retake my deficiencies to finally graduate, stretching me thin in the process. 

But now dear reader, I think you can take a hint on where this really is going. For the past year I have been very selfish. It was all about me myself and I, it was all about proving that I am the best among my peers and the best at what I do. I wanted everything to go well because this work, the success of the back section of The Bedan is because of me, the success and engagements we get online is because of how I’ve put a system in place to get the results out as soon as the game ended. 

I have been fixated on how to make up for the deficiencies of others, that I have completely forgotten what has gotten me this far in the first place, the value of resilience, grit and patience. But my juniors have consistently shown that even if the rug pulled out from underneath us. I am reminded that greatness is achieved by overcoming adversity. To be great does not mean just doing your job but doing it despite facing numerous circumstances out of your control.  

These new breed of campus journalists that I have worked with in the past year have made me proud to just be there to guide them and be a part of their journey. Their curiosity and receptiveness have been a breath of fresh air in an otherwise cold and monotonous work environment. They’ve reminded me of myself five years ago back in 2019, meek yet eager to learn from the rich experiences of their seniors. 

To the readers of Vergissmeinnicht, however many or few you may be, these forget-me-nots represent my own foolish quest for immortality. These last two years of work being News Editor and Sports Editor lives onto the memories of those who’ve read and wrote about it. And thus, it has already given me the immortality I’ve searched for in this place where I belonged. 

With that being said, to my dear juniors, the writers, photographers and cartoonists that I’m leaving behind, this space might not be enough to say all that I have to. But I just wanted you to know that you’ve done a great job, thank you. 

Email me at thebedan_sportseditor@sanbeda.edu.ph