BEING STUCK IN college when others are entering the next chapters of their lives can be tough, but you’re tougher.
Another year has passed by, and it seems about time for that looming specter of reality to pay its annual visit. That dreadful reminder that you are stuck in what should have been a supposed passing breeze, four years of course still being a significant amount of time, that sadly is not your personal circumstance. An uncertain number of additional years still await you, aggravated by the perceived successful college stories of friends and random mutuals on social media. An aggregation of envy-inducing posts flood your timeline – graduation pictures, successful job applications, stories of “what for me is next in store as I become another cog in the capitalist machinery?” – add on to that dreadful feeling of being glued to the floorboards of life, frozen in time, or to sum it up in just one word, stuck.
“While your situation may seem inescapable at the moment, the truth is as long as you continue walking the road to a not-so-distant finish line, no matter how small the steps may be, you will eventually reach where you have to be. All at your own pace, you will be alright.”
The usual demands of society insist that students finish their degrees within a fixed period, but that is not always the case for many. Others stay longer for deciding to transfer schools, or for shifting, others may experience setbacks in keeping up with academic demands, while others may take a deserved and understandable leave of absence for other personal matters. Despite all these valid causes behind why one may remain at an apparent stalemate, being delayed in college still carries with it heavy feelings of guilt or shame. It may seem impossible to rid oneself of these troubling sentiments, but a few guiding ideas may help one ease the burden of thought, or eventually even lead to finding solace within oneself.
Firstly, a supportive foundation, be they friends, family, or even those with similar experiences, can help with that feeling of isolation. Having the right people there to depend on will allow you to open up about troubling thoughts, to be vulnerable without judgement, and provide sincere and genuine company throughout your lengthy journey. The right people embody a gentle reminder that you are not fighting this personal battle alone.
Next is to view things from a kinder perspective. In a fast-paced society that tends to romanticize the grind, it may seem as if we have to constantly be achieving something in order for our lives to be worthwhile. This idea may worsen an already vulnerable position of not graduating on time. Instead, try to remind yourself that it is okay to run into a few road bumps, the reality is that no one is perfect. Everyone grows at a different pace, experiencing things from a different context, not everything has to be your fault. Allow yourself time to rest before fighting once again.
Lastly, make the most of what you have at the present. What time has been taken away; you can reclaim through opportunities that time has given you. Despite it seeming as if you have lost more time through your extended stay in college, quite the opposite can, as a matter of fact, be inferred. You can use the extra years as an opportunity for exploration and growth, joining organizations (*cough join The Bedan *cough) or trying out new things you never thought you would be capable of during those moments of doubt. Maximizing the remaining years of your slight detour, is another way to make your experience all the more meaningful.
While your situation may seem inescapable at the moment, the truth is as long as you continue walking the road to a not-so-distant finish line, no matter how small the steps may be, you will eventually reach where you have to be. All at your own pace, you will be alright.