PERHAPS, THE COMFORTLESS philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer made sense when he said, “As soon as the terrors of life reach the point at which they outweigh the terrors of death, it is only reasonable for a man to put an end to his life.”
Most would tout the supposed heartlessness of a person committing suicide, accusing them of being indifferent to the pain they leave behind. Of course, one cannot deny the horror of how one’s loss can devastate the people in their orbit however, one can’t help but wonder why people can be so quick to categorize suicide as an uncalled-for attack on those who care, peddling them with the same rhetoric that is pushing them over the edge.
While it may seem easy and agreeable to preach optimism, one must not overlook the value of being able to navigate, with grace and grit, the truth that lies in tragedy.
It may be shocking for some to learn how many walk a fine line, clinging to the fear of how much their loved ones would hurt if they were gone. People struggling with these thoughts even encounter well-meaning friends or family who, in their desperation to help, blur the lines between empathy and insensitivity. Such an impulse to fix or protect, though mostly rooted in care, often inadvertently deepens the sense of isolation that someone may be feeling.
“Kahit papaano swerte ka pa rin,” one common yet troubling response often heard in vulnerable conversations. This notion, which is conceivably meant to comfort, only suggests that the best consolation in times of affliction is the thought of other people who are in a worse plight than themselves. Such comments, though not ill-intended, reinforce the idea that pain has no place in a life touched by privilege, as if gratitude alone can silence suffering.
In that same breath, while getting professional help can be invaluable, most can attest that these people cannot do their job without the willingness of the distraught to engage. Hotlines, therapists, or counselors can only offer support if one has the courage to seek them.
One has probably doomscrolled enough online to have seen the quote, “You can’t teach someone to swim when they’re drowning,” and maybe, just maybe, love can be found in that same vantage point of giving people the space to find their “footing”. While it may seem easy and agreeable to preach optimism, one must not overlook the value of being able to navigate, with grace and grit, the truth that lies in tragedy.
Let it be understood that these words are not an invitation for anyone to find justification in taking their own life. Instead, may they stand as a reminder that to feel hopeless and hurt is simply part of being human, and when the battles that one has been fighting may reach a point where they seem futile, consider this — near the end, when the blade caresses your skin, you might realize that ending things may stop the suffering within your control, but it does not erase the pain from existence. Putting this into perspective, you’re not exactly winning, are you?
For the young and weary, here comes a thought: Just like dragging yourself to an early morning class, when all you want is to stay in bed, take a moment to appreciate the strength it took to resist hitting that snooze button. You’ll find that fight in you. Breathe. Find something to hold on to. Find something to wake up for. Find your reason to stay.
Email me at thebedan_managingeditor@sanbeda.edu.ph