IF I MAY, I’d like to get a few things off my chest. This five-year journey has reached its end, and to be honest with you never in my wildest dreams had I thought that this journey would end up the way that it did. 

I was naïve and worry-free back when I entered the halls of San Beda five years ago. I never really had my eyes focused on what was in front of me. Rather, I took my stay here as a preparation for something that I aspire to pursue which was further studies in law. Back then, my worries were if I have read the readings for class and if there’s an available seat at Lawson during lunchtime.  

Little did I know that a little bump in the road would turn into a complete detour as a simple one-month suspension of classes would lead to a life-changing experience for a lot of us. From my mom getting laid off at the height of the pandemic, the lockdowns have exacerbated our resources leaving us with no option but to stop with schooling for a year. At first, I thought of it as a vacation. But come the six-month mark, I started to hate every second of it. I longed for something productive to do, something meaningful to distract me from the sorry state of the world. I hated the idleness that my gap year has bought me.  

So, when I came back, I came back hungrier. I swore to myself that I will never let anything be taken from me again. I felt inadequate, I felt out of place as I have lost my place. I felt like the only thing to do was to carve a place for myself. So, every subject I took, I took seriously. Every task I attended to, I attended diligently. Every opportunity to attend, I attended and if I had failed it was because of me and only me. Similarly, that was my commitment to The Bedan. Every task that was given to me, I accepted. Nothing was too little or too big for me as I needed to prove myself. 

Looking at it now, through all these hardships I cannot say that I’ve lived but merely I was just existing through and outlasting it. You see, how I deal with things was always “out of sight, out of mind.” It’s easier that way knowing that you have much more important things to do than moping around feeling sorry for myself. I’d like to say that changed when I acquired my responsibilities, but it actually did not. I was too absorbed with my work that I failed to just take things slow and breathe, see my friends or be with my family till it was too late.  

Just when I thought I was on top of things, I lost my grandfather last Christmas. And between the units I was overloading, my thesis, and my responsibilities to the publication—I was ready to call it quits. When I lost my dad eight years ago, his last words to me were “quitters never win.” Those have always been the words I’ve lived by for the past eight years as whenever I’ve thought about quitting, his words chime right through my ear telling me to get back up. 

See, back then, I never understood why I had to take all these detours and where am I going to go. Detours are usually a cause of delay, but these detours that I have taken are also what have made me into who I am today. These detours were just what I needed to snap me out of it when I’m too fixated on something. These detours for better or for worse force me to take a step back.  

These detours also give me time to reflect and remember what really is important. Each detour was an opportunity to grow as a student, as a writer, and as a person giving me wisdom beyond my years. I think I’ve learned my final lesson about detours. It was never a straight line. The shortest route is the detour—it was the detour that was my shortest path.  

 So, with that being said, I want to thank those who have made the journey possible and the detours bearable. To my family, Mom, Lola, Tita Erika and Tito Manolo thank you for helping me see this through. To Sir Kerwin Martinez, M.A. and Ms. Alyssa Dispo, M.A. who have helped me immensely in my final year. To Max and Nico who have always been with me from our senior high school days to enrolling in San Beda and long after they’ve graduated. To Jeb, my first friend here who made the shortened freshman year one to remember. To Gab, who never lets me have a dull Saturday. To Janina and Alvin, who have been there with me to lend an ear whenever I am troubled. To my juniors Shelly, Roni, Mika, Eli, Riz, Jake, Rcee, Nate, Kathy and Vida who are more like siblings at this point. And to those who couldn’t make it, Papa and Lolo, I hope I made you proud.