AS THE WAVES of life continue to rise and fall with each passing day, | often find myself drifting to moments that once felt so certain. When I was younger, the future seemed so secure. Shaped by the presence of my mother and father, I always lived in the comfort of knowing that some things never changed. Back then, I never imagined life as something that could fracture or redirect itself; rather, it was something predetermined for you.
When my parents separated, that trust loosened its anchor. My life didn’t fall apart all at once; instead, I felt my sense of familiarity drifting. As the home I lived in for my whole life began to collapse, everything else soon followed. I lost my friends, my school, and the place that once grounded me; all traded for a life I didn’t ask for.
At first, I was furious. I thrashed against the waves, refusing to accept where it was taking me. I lived in denial, clinging to the idea that we could still redo things—that if I held on tightly enough, the tide would turn on itself and carry us back to the life we once had.
“But the sea doesn’t listen. It keeps moving forward, indifferent to my pleas, never pausing to ask for a second opinion.”
As time passed, I transferred to a new school and slowly began to find myself; uncovering parts of myself I didn’t know existed. On the surface, it felt like I was finally moving forward-like finally learning to float instead of sink. But no matter how far I drifted, something always felt off. As if I was moving forward while leaving pieces of myself behind, scattered somewhere in the water that I never chose to cross.
Months become years, and I was suddenly in my final year of high school. Still unsure of my future, I was living each day, letting time pass without direction. The routines around me continued, as the days blurred together. I questioned whether I would ever find a place where I truly belonged, or if I was just meant to drift endlessly, trying to pick up the pieces of a life I once lived.
Early into the academic year, I began to rediscover my passions— interests that had been on the back burner, and everything else I had neglected in grief. Along the way, I met people who challenged me, inspired me, and encouraged me to aim higher. I was pushed to grow, take risks, and to believe in my own potential. For the first time in years, I felt a spark come to life in the midst of all the uncertainty I had carried for so long.
As I graduated high school and moved into the city for college, the waves of change had grown more imminent. I began to understand that life is a constant cycle of change. It’s unpredictable, but necessary. Instead of yearning for things to be different or wanting to change the past, I had finally realized something important. It’s the fact that I have the capability to pave my own path. Instead of running from it, I now embrace uncertainty, to trust my own ability to navigate the tides of life, and to embrace every cycle of growth. And in letting go, I found my way back home.